May I be his hands and feet

Big changes here recently for yours truly. I started looking for a new job about two months ago. I learned so much in the ICU this past year, but saw myself experiencing "burnout" a little too quickly for a nurse of 1 year. I've talked a lot to my good friends about how I believe it takes a special woman to be a nurse in critical care. It's exciting, unpredictable, fast-paced. I loved the nurses I worked with... truly great friends and colleagues. When it all came down to it, though... I realized that I dreaded going to work every day. I dreaded the 13 hours I'd be away from my husband. I dreaded the exhaustion that would set in by the time I stumbled in the door at a quarter to eight. I dreaded working weekend days while my husband was at home alone. I dreaded the holiday season, knowing that I wouldn't be with Matt or our families. I'm certainly not saying that it wasn't a great place to work, I'm just saying that it wasn't for me. I wasn't happy doing my job and I'm a firm believer that you should love what you do. 


I prayed a lot about this decision. Cried a lot about this decision. Exhausted Matt's ears with this decision...


I applied for a job at an outpatient mental health clinic in Nashville and a few other positions. I ended up interviewing with the clinic and being offered the job, after which Matt and I sat on the decision for a weekend. We traveled home to Georgia that particular weekend and talked about it the whole way home. Pros. Cons. Did I mention that this position was Monday through Friday, 8 am to 4:30 pm, no weekends or holidays? 


My reservation through this process was this: I felt selfish. I felt like I was copping-out. I felt like being happy with my job wasn't reason enough. One thing I love about Matt is his matter-of-fact advice. Why in the world do I think I don't deserve this? To be happy going to work every day? 


That weekend at church we heard a great sermon about God's will. Couldn't have been more perfect. 


Why do we always ask for further "confirmation" from God after He opens a door in our lives? He presented an opportunity. Is that not confirmation enough? Continue to pursue the calling until he closes a door. Simple.


After the sermon, the band played this song by Leeland: 

You lived among the least of these

The weary and the weak

And it would be a tragedy for me to turn away

And I`ll follow You into the homes that are broken

Follow You into the world

Meet the needs for the poor and the needy, God

Follow You into the world 

I accepted the job that next week. The lyrics above were especially appropriate considering the population I now serve at the mental health clinic.


Broken, needy, weary, weak. May I be His hands and feet.

Lauren