Not Our Home

Today we are on the first leg of our trip to Haiti...

I am a lot little nervous and way excited. We will be working in various capacities at the Hands and Feet Ministry and Orphanage for the week... so I basically get to spend my days loving on sweet kiddos! Excited and grateful is an understatement.

Matt and I have talked a lot this week about our expectations - our hearts - going into this. I spent a short time in orphanages and a refugee camp in the Czech Republic right after high school with my church... I loved my time there and walked away knowing, even more so, that I would adopt one day. But this time around, despite not being a "mother" quite yet, I feel like I'm going in with a more maternal heart. I feel it. I think it will be harder this time, for me... To look at these children and know that I could really, truly take them home with me. I am no longer a teenager or a care-free college student. I am an adult. A grown woman. I have a spouse, a home, a real-life, big-girl job. And most of all, I have the capacity in my heart to love them all the days of their lives. I do. I would love them with every fiber of my being. Perhaps I'm setting myself up for some majorly-tearful goodbyes, but it is a fact that my heart can't ignore. I could do something.
My heart is already aching for these children that I've yet to meet. I have cried big, fat tears on my drive home this week after hearing the lyrics to a new favorite song of mine. 

Don't lose heart

Don't forget

This world is not our home

There's a better place where we belong

This place of heartache and strife and orphans and widows and poverty and suffering. It's not our home. Thank you for that, Lord.

Lauren

7

Anyone read 7, by Jen Hatmaker?

I've tried for weeks now to put something onto paper. Some arrangement of words that would describe what's going on in my heart and my head. I read 90% of the book in two days... I couldn't bear to put it down. But once it started to conclude, it's as if I developed a bad case of the butterflies.
I knew I was different for reading it. I knew it had stirred something in me. I knew that it had fed fuel to a small flame that had been burning inside of me for a while.

You see, I've always had a thing about stuff. I like to simplify. I hate junk. I have no qualms about tossing things into a garbage bag to be donated and never seen again. I appreciate sentiment, but I am not one to save something for a rainy day. If I haven't seen it, used it, or worn it in a year then see ya.

But even with that attitude, we still have lots of junk. Things. Stuff. Just in case. Sure, it is all neatly (for the most part) tucked away in closets or under beds (ssshhhhh!), but it's there. It's slowly but surely taking over my house, and maybe it's a startling reflection of the condition of my heart.


Are my wants blinding me from the needs of others? 
Are my abundant blessings keeping me from seeing how fortunate I really am?
Is my desire for comfort taking up room in my heart where the desire for justice and mercy for the oppressed should be?

I don't know yet how this has changed me. I just know that it has rocked my comfortable little world. It's not just about throwing away stuff. It's about minimizing. Reducing. Trimming the excess....to allow the important, the eternal,  to fill our hearts and minds.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 4:17-18 NIV (emphasis mine)
  



Lauren

what about dave?

As you know, my husband and I are working through the Financial Peace University curriculum in our journey towards debt-freedom. It has been quite a trip already! There have been celebrations and tears, feelings of moving forward and moments of discouragement.

But what's important is that we are moving forward.

I have heard lots of nasty criticism of Dave in the past, both online and around town. In Nashville, home to Financial Peace Plaza and all-things-Dave-Ramsey, it seems that for every "Dave follower" there is also a "Dave cynic".

The cynics think he is money-hungry and selfish. That he promotes hoarding cash and building wealth for yourself. That he's got to be out of his ever-loving mind if he thinks people can live completely and utterly with.out.debt.

I am not here to speak for Dave Ramsey as a person or as a financial advisor, even... but I do want to get this little ditty out on the internet in case someone else has questions or doubts or wants to know more behind the philosophy that so many skeptics have their hay-day with.

Dave goes to our church and delivered a rather impactful message recently on "How big is your WHY?"

Now, I know lots of folks disapprove of Dave's rants on-air or of his "wealth building" philosophy, or that he doesn't stress "giving" enough for their taste. First and foremost, I can assure you that when given the platform of a church alter instead of a radio studio, his message is clear. Do I sometimes wish that he could be as clear about the end-all message on the air? Absolutely. Do I know of the restrictions (if any) that are given to him while on national radio? I don't. Am I glad that he's getting the message out anyway and making people angry enough to fight their way out of bondage that we call debt? 100%.

Moving on...  "How big is your WHY?"

When we first begin this debt-free journey, our "why" is selfish. Noble, maybe, but selfish. "We want to be free! We want out of this bondage that the world calls debt. We are sick and tired of being sick and tired!"

As we pay off debt and build up "wealth", per se, our "why" morphs into something bigger -

 

To "change our family tree".

Having student debt from nursing school, this is very real to me. The thought of sending my children to college and allowing them to start "real life" without (what the world calls justifiable) debt puts tears in my eyes. I will not pass a legacy of debt on to my children.

 "A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children." Prov 13:22

This inheritance may not be a lofty trust fund, but it certainly will not be a chunk of debt, either.

As our wealth grows, so does our "why"... It seems that the cynics have a problem with what they call "hoarding wealth", but Dave recommends that you not save more than 3 to 6 months of your living expenses after you are debt free. I see this "emergency fund" as two-fold.

1) taking care of your household if you were to lose your job. You are to take care of your family inside the four walls of your home first and foremost.

2) to put you in a position where "emergencies" are now just "inconveniences". You will have tires blow out. AC units will fail.  There will be a major leak in the bathroom... maybe all in the same week. But that emergency fund allows you to take care of those things without dipping into your monthly income and causing a true "emergency". Now replacing that AC unit is only an inconvenience...

Which leads me to my next (and final, promise!) point - what some may call "hoarding wealth", I see as allowing one to free up their "other" money to GIVE.

Instead of having to postpone your gift to that family's adoption fund for a month because the car broke down, you have a safety net that allows you to do BOTH. And that is freedom. Too "comfortable" for some people? Maybe. But it allows you to be consistent and excessive in your giving and I do not think that the Lord frowns upon that.

You know what? It's not about money. It's not about budgets and spreadsheets and envelopes.

It's about freedom. Stewardship. About tackling something hard and rocking it in a way that impacts not only your future, but generations after you.

I, personally, am thankful to Dave - that someone finally spoke out and said that it's NOT OK for believers to be enslaved by debt. That we are not good stewards when we are in bondage to lenders. That true freedom comes when you are able to give CONSISTENTLY and EXCESSIVELY because you have been financially responsible.

I would hate for people to miss that because of a few skeptics.

Lauren

Free

I am having a rather difficult time putting my thoughts for this post into words.... the statement that was made at my bible study last night did so many things in my heart. It softened my spirit. It revolutionized my thoughts.

It freed me from the bondage of perfection.

Have you read Proverbs 31 in the Message?


"A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!"


We have all read about this Proverbs 31 woman... the superhero? The granola mom with the orderly home, the cutest crafts, and the husband that is smitten by her. The kids that "rise up and call her blessed".

She is the impossible ideal.

She is never spiteful.
She is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She is diligent.
She is quick to assist anyone in need.
She always faces tomorrow with a smile.
She always speaks kindly.

I am often spiteful. I frequently wish for the day to end. I am lazy. I regularly pass up opportunities to help those in need. I often groan when my alarm sounds in the morning. I have been known to speak with malice.

This woman and I? We are exceedingly different. I strive to be like her and yet I always fall short. She is everything I want to be but cannot achieve.

Wife. Mother. Philanthropist. Gardener. Seamstress. Businesswoman. Crafter. Homemaker. Chef. Designer. Encourager.

But what if we read through that scripture again with a different approach?

We aren't called to be these things.
We are free to be these things.

Revolutionized. Inspired. Encouraged.

It was like a weight had been lifted from me.

I know that the Lord desires for me to be like this woman. He wants me to be kind, attentive, generous, joyful, and gracious.

But the freedom comes when I realize that he is not counting my short-comings. He is not keeping tabs of my failures. Instead, he has given me a goal to realize. An example to follow. 

He has given me the freedom to strive for this ideal, without fear of punishment.

And that is freedom.

-Lauren

30 Days of Thankfulness - #29 - O Christmas Tree

There's nothing quite like decorating the house for Christmas and wrapping gifts up for the ones you love.

I'm so grateful for this time of year. For finding ways to show love to our families and friends through gifts and time. For the purpose behind the season and the opportunity to remember the birth of our Savior. May we have constant reminders of the Reason we are celebrating.


Thankful,
Lauren

30 Days of Thankfulness - #27 - Learning Through Community

Tonight our small group started a new book called "Sacred Marriage". We'll look deeper into the question, "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" 

As I looked around the room this evening, I could barely contain my excitement over doing life with these sweet couples. I'm sure we'll learn more than we can fathom from the pages of this book and many others, but the big lessons will come from the people themselves. 

I feel so grateful to have the chance to learn and grow with these new friends.

Thankful, 

Lauren 

30 Days of Thankfulness - #20 - Freedom to Worship

Just last week, Matt and I were sitting in a rather crowded Sunday service at our home church. As more people poured in, each row of people started to move closer and closer together, making room for more. As the church became more and more packed, I became more and more disgruntled.

"I can't even move! Could the girl next to me get any closer?"

"I am burning up. There's too many people in here to be running the heat."

"Good grief... Can't she move over an inch? She keeps elbowing me in the ribs."

via

And then the Lord gave me a big ole wake up call right smack in the middle of the Sunday service.

There are people that can't even say the name of Jesus aloud, without fear of persecution... folks that have to meet underground, in the dark, in secret. There are people that worship silently or in whispers, relying solely on the song in their hearts to give praise to the Lord. There are groups of people that have been murdered for professing their faith in the One who created them. Believers that have never held a Bible in their hands or seen the written Word. 

And then there's me. I openly call myself a believer. A Christian. I wake up on Sunday mornings and drive to a big building with a sign out front declaring it a "Bible Church". I walk in with hundreds of others, take my seat, open my Bible, and hear the Word of God preached over a loud speaker. We have baptisms in open fields. We sing at the top of our lungs and raise our hands to the heavens. 

I'm feeling very grateful for our ability to worship freely, and without fear of persecution or death. 

Thankful, 
Lauren

30 Days of Thankfulness - #15 - Peace That Transcends

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

This is my typical mantra when I'm feeling particularly fearful or uncertain. Today, I'm grateful for peace that is unexplainable... A peace that can only be attributed to the Comforter.

Thankful,
Lauren

30 Days of Thankfulness - #11 - By Proxy

proxy (ˈprɒksɪ)


-- n, pl proxies
1. a person authorized to act on behalf of someone else.

In the years since my dad died, I have been so blessed to have various men step in and assume roles in my life that I would have otherwise gone without. My uncles took over the task of supporting me, coming games and graduations. Various men in my church became like spiritual leaders for me, praying for my needs and showing me a Godly example. My friends' fathers invited me into their home and welcomed me as part of their family.
I was fifteen years old when I first read Romans 8:15 and felt like the Lord had written it just for me.


"For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father.'"


It was then that I realized how the Lord fulfills all my needs as Father... including putting kind, Godly men in my life to love me in all the ways I could ever need... loving me by proxy. 


The picture above is of my sweet uncle Joey. He married my aunt when I was 11, and from the moment he met me, became the closest thing I know as an earthly father. He has provided for me, supported me, loved me, and encouraged me. I am more grateful to him than I will ever be able to express.


The Lord is our provider in that way... giving us just the person we need to fulfill a need at a specific time. His love is a perfect love.


Thankful,
Lauren

30 Days of Thankfulness - #10 - My Dad

My dad's birthday is today! He would have been 51 years old...

There's not much I remember about my dad. He died when I was five from a very short battle with acute Leukemia. A lot of my memories come from stories and pictures and a few home videos. While the personal recollections are few, my dad left me so many things to be proud of.


My family... the most loving, affectionate, and funniest people you'll ever run into. They have loved me in a way that fills the void.


My appearance... at a recent family wedding, a lady approached me with tears in her eyes and said, "You must be Tab's daughter." That makes me so happy... that people can see me after all these years and pinpoint who I belong to. I am my daddy's daughter!


My mom... she wouldn't be who she is without him or without losing him. His life and death impacted her forever, and I can see the positive repercussions of strength and resiliency even after all these years.


His legacy... this is the biggie. There isn't a person without a good opinion or memory of my dad. He was a faithful husband and dad. He loved me more than I could ever fathom. He was a believer and loved Jesus with all his heart. He was a great friend. He loved his family. He was witty and generous and kind. And best of all? People came to know Jesus because of his life. That's the ultimate legacy. And one that I'm so proud of.


Thankful,
Lauren

30 Days of Thankfulness - #4 - grace

"My grace is sufficient for you, my power is perfected in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Sufficient: adequate for the purpose. enough.

Perfected: entirely without any flaws or defects.

Grace: the undeserved favor of God.

"But He gives us more grace..." James 4:6

Isn't is just like the Lord to lavish us with more and more of a gift we didn't even deserve in the first place?

Thankful,

Lauren

30 Days of Thankfulness - #2 - the church

The church.

Matt and I have recently started a community group for young married couples. I was excited about this group from the get-go but it has far surpassed my expectations. We have felt encouraged, challenged, and affirmed. We have had fellowship with couples in our stage of life week after week... and that, is good stuff, my friends. The group discussion almost always follows us home to what Matt and I like to call "debriefing".

I am so thankful that the Lord created us to live in community with others. To learn and grow and to have each other's backs.

"And the congregation of those who believed were of one heart and soul; and not one of them claimed that anything belonging to him was his own, but all things were common property to them." Acts 4:32

Community is such a beautiful thing!

Thankful, Lauren